


fearfully and wonderfully made

by Anonymous



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Serena and Beyoncé, Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After working with Beyoncé, Serena starts realizing some things about her life.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wanderedpen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderedpen/gifts).



Later, Serena always says that it was working with Beyoncé that did it.

In the public consciousness, their collaboration was billed as “legend meets legend,” and perhaps there was an element of that involved. As Serena begins to see the finish line of her career afar off on the horizon, the weight of her responsibilities as a role model and public figure grows ever heavier; she is not simply a woman who happens to be a tennis legend, but a woman with influence and clout. The work she does and the things she says can have a real impact on people’s lives.

But beyond all of that, and not to minimize it for a moment, when Serena met Beyoncé she saw more than a fellow legend, a brilliant musician and entertainer who dominated her world in the same way Serena dominated hers. Instead, she found that Beyoncé was a funny, sweet woman with a lovely grin and a contagious laugh, who asked for Serena’s favorite taco recipes, who listened to her as if Serena was the most important person in the world. 

“Girl, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve fallen in love with Beyoncé,” Venus says, about the fourth time Serena is telling the dirty joke Beyoncé told her (with the most devilish glint in her eyes).

Serena laughs. “Me and the rest of America,” she says, and changes the subject.

She thinks about it later, though.

She thinks about the way Beyoncé’s hips moved, about the way her bodysuit caught the eye. She thinks about the way her mouth went dry when Beyoncé laughed, about how she had to swallow hard when she saw Beyoncé lounging on her throne, the queen of her domain. She thinks about the way her heart flipped in her chest when Beyoncé said she loved Serena’s hair, when Beyoncé said she loved her, when Beyoncé said she was one of Blue Ivy’s idols.

She thinks about the dream she had last week.

*~*

When the dream comes back, she goes to Venus.

Vee will understand. They’ve been through so much together; Serena has many close friends and family, as well as her entire tennis team, but nobody can ever be as close as Vee. When she needs a non-judgmental, completely supportive ear, Serena knows there’s no substitute for her gentle, kindhearted older sister.

She’s never tested that this far before, though.

“If I did something against the faith,” she starts, haltingly, trying to find the words. “If I did something Jehovah God wouldn’t want…”

Venus frowns, but it’s a thoughtful frown, not an angry one. “Something Jehovah God wouldn’t want, for sure, or something the Church wouldn’t want?”

“I don’t know,” Serena says. She’s not a hand-wringer, but her fingers are tightly clenched together. Perhaps she should have waited until she knows for sure – but if she doesn’t have something to help her process her feelings out loud, she thinks she’ll go mad. “I don’t know.”

“Technically being a competitive tennis player is against Jehovah God’s will,” Venus points out. “The Church doesn’t say anything to us about it because we are Witnesses to his glory, but you know as well as I do that it’s not something they encourage in other people. Focusing on competition instead of God, and asking him to help us in worldly pursuits, is against Church doctrine.”

“That’s different,” Serena says.

“Is it? I don’t feel that being a professional athlete hinders my faith. Quite the contrary. I rely on his grace daily, and the ups and downs of the tour reminds me to take triumph and defeat the same, with unblemished joy.” She changes seats, coming to sit next to Serena. “Maybe whatever you’re struggling with is the same. Maybe it too can help your faith, instead of hindering it.”

Serena searches Venus’s face. Her sister always looks serene, and even now she still does. There’s no worry about Serena confessing that she’s a secret ax murderer. But surely she couldn’t have guessed Serena’s actual secret.

“What if I’m a kleptomaniac?” she asks, testing the waters. “What if I’ve been having sex? What if I took drugs?”

Venus takes Serena’s hands in hers. “If you’re a kleptomaniac, that’s a medical condition, and we can get help. Jehovah God won’t judge you for that. I know you haven’t been taking drugs, so don’t even try that with me.”

Serena laughs. It feels a little dangerous, but it isn’t quite watery yet. 

Venus’s grip doesn’t slacken. “And if you’ve been having sex – well, maybe it’s not exactly what the Church wants, but if you love the person, I think Jehovah God understands. He’s Love itself, isn’t he?”

She didn’t say ‘if you love him’ or ‘if you love the man’. Could she? Could she know?

Serena’s scared of this next step in a way she’s never been on court, but she has to know. “What if,” she says, and clears her throat, “what if I realized I… that I like women?”

There. It’s out now. Like coming out on court in a Slam final – you take the first steps onto the stadium court, as the roar of the crowd swells around you, and there’s no going back. You’re there for the duration, win or lose, putting your all on the line.

“I think,” Venus says, her gentle voice even more gentle than usual, “that Jehovah God loves all his children, and that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

It was Serena’s motto growing up, ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’, and she looks up abruptly, up into Venus’s tender expression. “Does that mean you think I’m deluding myself? That I’ve been seduced by the world?”

“It means,” Venus says, kissing her forehead, “that I think Jehovah made you just the way you are. And if that means that you’re not only the best tennis player of all time, but the gay best tennis player of all time, then that’s Jehovah’s plan.”

“Vee,” Serena says, and puts her head down on Venus’s shoulder, as Venus holds her close.


End file.
